I'm so strung out on you...

I am a nail polish addict.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.
A problem, you say? I estimate my nail polish collection to be around 400 dollars...please note that out of 35 bottles, only 3 were bought prior to Fall 2007. However, compared to getting a biweekly acrylic fill, I still saved over a hundred dollars.

Up until January 2007, I was a chronic nail-biter. The only time I was not was during my acrylic phase from 2004-2006. Since I was in the UK, I could not afford acrylics. (60 dollars?! Sorry, there's Strongbow to be bought...)

Here are my nail must-haves:

Seche Vite top coat (This may have fueled my addiction far more than anything else...15 minutes and my nails are dry?! Now I can change it daily...*evil grin*)
Solar Oil (I have learned to love the almond scent. Also, combined with Seche Vite, polish dries even faster (10 minutes!!!). I think it works with oils in general; I have yet to try other oils.)
OPI Nail Envy (This is my workhorse base coat. Many people complain about it peeling; maybe I'm a freak but it's been the best base I've ever used.)
Sally Hansen Instant Cuticle Remover (Yes, it's cheap and you can find it at Wal-Mart.)

Here are some of my less favorite products:

Orly Bonder (Quickest tip wear ever. Save 8 dollars and skip it.)
any OPI base/top coat (It chips and peels. Besides, you don't want to wait forever for your polish to dry already.)
Chanel Black Satin (Scrangie, one of my favorite nail blogs, recommended Zoya Raven instead. I own both; not only is it identical, it is 14 dollars cheaper AND applies much easier than the Chanel.)

(note: For those of you who are curious, that is my (sloppy) rendition of Chris Paul's New Orleans Hornets jersey (CP3!!!). The white is Zoya Gaia, the purple Zoya Yasmeen and the teal China Glaze For Audrey.)

q: Asian Girl! Your football predictions suck!

What have you got to say for yourself?

a: Hey, hey, hey. Okay, so LSU's new QBs have crapped the bed (Damn you, Ryan Perrilloux! Why the fuck couldn't you have just behaved?!) and my not-so-secret former crush Tim Tebow (Blue and orange Crocs? Girlie hard-on goodbye!) has finally put himself back in the Heisman race (although I think a few Big 12 QBs have something to say about that).

My main prediction still stands. It will be someone in the Big 12 (Texas, Texas Tech or OU) vs. Alabama. I would usually pull for the SEC, but the Big 12 is making that mighty hard this season.

I was happy to see Penn State beat those pesky Buckeyes. Great, maybe the national championship will be worth watching this time around!

q: I'm having a long run of bad luck...

how do I cope?

a: What ever you do, don't panic. Take a time-out and breathe. Rethink the situation and assess the worst that can happen. Mentally put yourself in that situation and imagine it playing out. Not that bad? Good. Still freaking out? Calm down and reconsider. Repeat until content.

Not to be Biblical or anything, but have you heard of the book of Job? Homeboy went through a mad crazy spell of bad luck and all of his friends thought that God was punishing him. However, Job disagreed. Job was right: sometimes bad things just happen for no reason. Some people just have this innate need to blame so they blame God/karma/etc. I subscribe to a more simplistic explanation: shit happens.

I could be as harsh as a close friend of mine: "Asian Girl, life sucks. Get a helmet." (Sorry, BFF2, I still love ya.) Unfortunately, I'm notorious for whining/dwelling on things so some tough love was definitely in order. I hope you're not anywhere near as stubborn as I am.

I may not know the extent or severity of your situation, so I apologize ahead of time if this seems trite. I'm no stranger to a string of bad luck. For instance, I've been single for four years. (Just kidding...not the single part, but insinuating that being single is bad luck.) A good two months before leaving for England, it was just one thing after another. I slept with someone I shouldn't have. I got caught up in someone else's illicit activities. I got rejected for a higher credit limit. I got into two car accidents within a week of each other. I lost my job...a week before Christmas. My admission and housing situation in England was not confirmed and the university was closed until the second week of January. A good friend's mother died shortly after Christmas and the funeral was held on my 22nd birthday. Pretty much, I thought I was completely fucked.

However, what helped me out was some kind words from a friend: "Since all these bad things have happened to you so far, something really good has got to happen." (Thanks again, BFF2! haha...) Sure enough, things began to improve. I got my acceptance letter during the first week of January. My aunt lent my dad 4000 dollars for my trip. My housing finally came through 4 days before my departure. Soon enough, I was on a plane to the UK and experienced the time of my life (so far, that is).

The lesson is, things will get better eventually. Here's something to remember from the greatest musical ever: "Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now."

Erasmus Syndrome

On January 27, 2007, I left the US for 5 months in the UK. It still remains, if not the best, one of the best times of my life so far. It's almost been 2 years but the memories are still fresh in my head.

The best advice I can ever give to a college student is to study abroad. I know what some of you are thinking: Oh, another "study abroad transformed me" story. All study abroad stories are unique to their owner but all share the same sentiment: you are never the same after. You will never be the same after. This article elaborates on the same idea.

This was found by my friend Alexandra who translated it from Greek and was edited by yours truly. The original can be found at http://metanastis.blogspot.com/2008/01/erasmus-syndrome.html

Erasmus Syndrome

17/01/05
"I’m at my university right now. I've met so many people and I feel great! If I were to leave Sweden right now this would be a great experience so far, bearing in mind that I’ve been here for 5 days and I will stay for the following five months!"

This is the first entry in the diary I used to keep while I was in Sweden taking part in the Erasmus program.

Erasmus syndrome is a condition that comes as result of a long stay abroad and it happens due to change of culture, climate, society, language, friends, relationships, lessons, food, habits, colors, smells, feelings, insurance system, traffic regulation, TV programs, people, animals, insects, plants…what else? Oh yes, toilets, cities, villages, football, music, politics, mass media, means of transport, time that gets dark, time the sun rises, time that it’s noon and it's time for me to finish the list. At the end, the combination of the all the aforementioned with those that one finds in the country one comes from results in the Erasmus syndrome.

Let me take things from the beginning.

The first days in a foreign country - where you know you’ll be spending a serious amount of time living in - are revealing. You see and live unfamiliar things and this induces a sense of euphoria.

After we all had fun and got to know each other fairly well, we enjoyed a period of relative relaxation, where we started to behave as if we were residents of this country: Travels, walks, parties, football, studying, friends, and everyday human activities. (Now that I’m writing this I realize after a long time the need for such small joys of life – even though it sounds like a cliché. Go for a walk somewhere nice, give your girlfriend a flower, look at a full moon, ’cause if this isn't life then what is it?)

Time got by very pleasantly (something that confirms the notion that when you’re having a good time, time flies by.) The weather was cold but tolerable, almost pleasantly different.

Toward the end of Erasmus, the need for contact was imperative and the promises for future reunions were endless. Especially the last days we used to have many conversations about where are we in life right now, what are we doing, what we're gonna do next and so on, all that accompanied by the stress of our return or rather, our departure.

I remember the discussion we had with a Slovenian and a Belgian guy our last night out. We all felt so weird that we may never meet again that we started to philosophize effortlessly just to end up to a funny fact that actually contained some truth. “No, my friend, no! You have to put your feelings in a box as long as you are here and leave it aside.” That is, no smiles, no joy, all that has to be in the box. I guess that was a bit exaggerated, but what happens if you bond excessively with something or with everything there was where you went? How are you going to go back home? I imagine (and believe me I can imagine that because I lived it) that it’s going to be torture.

While I was in Sweden, relatives and friends kept asking me when I was coming back. They kept talking about how much they missed me and all that stuff. However, I felt exactly the opposite, I wasn’t in the mood to go back home or explain what I lived. I feel (and this is not only me, but also lots of friends from Erasmus feel so) that over there I had a parallel life that I could make it as I wished, knowing what friends to make, what decisions to take (based on my experience of life, okay I must’ve had some experience from all the stupid things I’ve done, right?) and knowing of course that one day I would be back home.

I can say that others were influenced a lot by the syndrome; they changed or their life changed (I know quite a lot of people that broke up while being on the program, whereas others broke up by going back), while others seemed unaffected.

The first days I got back to Greece I felt lost, trapped between two worlds. My room seemed too small for me, the toilet big, and the key different; however the city, the relatives and friends were all the same. I can say that when you are emotionally bonded before you go, you are even more when you return.

One of the many pieces of advice is to go alone and hang out with as many foreigners as possible. Even if it seems scary at first, it will leave you with some incredible memories and knowledge at the end.

The symptoms of the Erasmus syndrome include continuous sighs, a sense of escape, the need for a full life, words like ‘everyone has their own story, their own friends, and we all together are a group', tolerance to other ethnicities and generally to the different, increase of sociability and a lot of other symptoms that would take up lot of space to be described here.

Finally (this is another freaking symptom, thinking in another language, in my case English) this whole thing has left me a bittersweet taste that is getting sweeter and sweeter as time goes by…

14/06/2005
"I’m on the airplane right now. If I were alone here I would be crying. Everything's so different but still the same. It’s over…"

coming to terms with myself...

A dedication to who I once was, who I am, and who I will be.

coming soon...

A substantial sex survey...just what The Asian Girl ordered.

q: What is it that you absolutely​ need sexually?​
a: Someone to have sex with.

q: What is something you have alway​s wante​d to try?
a: Liberator "Bedroom Adventure Gear".

q: What is somet​hing you have never​ done in bed befor​e?​
a: Fucked someone with a strap-on...and no, I don't plan on ever trying it.

q: What time of day do you like to have sex?
a: Anytime.

q: What do you absolutely​ need to see to turn you on?
a: Nothing, my imagination is pretty good at doing that by itself.

q: How long can you just kiss until​ your hands​ start​ to wande​r?​
a: Not very long, that's for sure.

q: If someo​ne was in the next room while​ you had sex would​ it make you nervous or excit​ed?​
a: It depends on who was in the next room. A friend of mine? No big deal. The parents? Weeeeeird.

q: Would​ it bothe​r you if your significant other got naked​ at a beach​ or river​?​
a: If they were with me, there would be a legitimate reason.

q: Have you ever faked​ an orgas​m?​
a: Once and what caused me to do so still kinda traumatizes me to this day.

q: What part of your body are you self-​consc​ious about​?​
a: My midsection but I think I've come to terms with it for the most part.

q: Do you have any sexua​l regre​ts?​
a: No.

q: If a lover​ cheat​ed on you would​ you take them back?​
a: Considering this is one of my biggest personal issues, I want to automatically say no. However, I feel that this may change in the future due to circumstances, but for now I will go ahead and say no.
​
q: How impor​tant is sex in your life?​
a: Have you ever had a fairly long conversation with me?

q: How impor​tant is love in your life?​
a: Very...but love has many forms.

q: What is the bigge​st fight​ you have ever had with a significant other?​
a: The biggest fight I can think of was during the stupid "break" my last ex imposed. He was angry that I had talked to the girl he would eventually leave me for about our situation at the time. When I called her concerning an unrelated incident, I asked how things were with my ex concerning our "break". She told me that he told her that we were completely over. Looking back, my crazy ass was right.

q: Do you belie​ve in makeup sex?
a: It can be good.

q: Have you ever told a compl​ete stran​ger somet​hing you kept from a lover​?​
a: I doubt it...but it's been quite a long time.

q: Have you ever had a one night​ stand​?​
a: Who hasn't?

q: Have you ever rebou​nded and knew​ you were doing​ so?
a: Yes, and I believed it (partially) saved me from a further downhill spiral.

q: Who did you lose your virgi​nity to?
a: My first ex.

q: When and where​ did you lose your virgi​nity?​
a: October 11, 2002 in the backseat of a Mazda 626.

q: If you could​ go back in time would​ you chang​e it or take it back?​
a: No. I was waiting for someone special and they said those "magical three words". I'm a romantic deep down.

q: Would​ you go down on your significant other under​ a resta​urant​ table?​
a: Perhaps...perchance.

q: Where​ would​ you have sex in publi​c?​
a: Been there, done that.

q: Would​ you ever have sex while​ at work?​
a: Oh yeah.

q: Would​ you have sex in the corne​r of a depar​tment​ store​?​
a: If I wouldn't get caught, why not?

q: Would​ you have sex in the rain?​
a: A light drizzle? Sure. Torrential category 4 rain? Well, if the moment hit...

q: What movie​ makes​ you horny​?​
a: BFF1: CRUEL INTENTIONS?! Seriously, Asian Girl, Cruel Intentions?!

q: What is the highe​st numbe​r of orgas​ms you have had in one sex romp?​
a: Phew...couldn't tell you; I get kinda fuzzy after a few.

q: How many do you wish you could​ have?​
a: I get my fair share, thank you (:

q: Would​ you have sex in a dress​ing room?​
a: As I said before, if I wouldn't get caught...

q: What sound​s do you like to hear durin​g sex?
a: FutureSex/LoveSounds.

q: What sound​s do you make durin​g sex?
a: Ask any of my former roommates/suitemates/bedmates. I've heard stories of several different people mimicking them.

q: What words​ do you love to hear durin​g sex?
a: I like compliments :)

q: How many times​ a week do you like to have sex?
a: Everyday/every other day would be cool.

q: Do you want to try the 69 posit​ion?​
a: It's been done, and believe me, it's fanfuckingtastic.

q: What are your three​ favorite posit​ions?​
a: Doggy, missionary and everything else is pretty peachy.

q: What are the top 3 eroge​nous zones​ on your body?​
a: I can only pick three? Well, shit.

q: Top or botto​m?​
a: Bottom.

q: Bedro​om or other​ room?​
a: Whatever works.

q: Light​s on or off?
a: Dimmed.

q: Publi​c or priva​te?​
a: Private.

q: Parti​ally or entir​ely naked​?​
a: Entirely...but rushed quickie sex that requires clothing to be pushed aside for easy access can be hot.

q: Oil & lotio​n or candl​es & Egypt​ian cotto​n sheet​s?
a: Both.

q: Naugh​ty video​s or hot photo​s?​
a: Videos.

q: Lacy panti​es/silk boxer​s or leath​er?​
a: Lace and silk.

q: Fast & hard or slow & gentl​e?​
a: Both in moderate amounts.

q: Stand​ing up or layin​g down?
a: I'm 4'9, do you know how hard standing up sex is for me?

q: Soft or firm touch​?​
a: Both in varying degrees.

q: Under​ cover​s or on top?
a: Under covers; I like touching things :)

q: Would​ you ever have sex in your child​hood bedro​om?​
a: No, it's my sister's now.

q: Have you ever hooke​d up on a swing​ set?
a: No, but I own a sex swing.

q: Is there​ any desir​e that you want to try that you think​ is taboo​?​
a: Not really.

q: Any new posit​ions you haven​'t done but want to try?
a: Yeah, sure, but the old standbys are there for a reason.

q: Do you have any sexua​l fetis​hes you want to explo​re?​
a: With the right person, yeah.

q: Are there​ any secre​t desir​es you have never​ told?​
a: Doesn't everyone?

q: Where​ in the house​ is your favor​ite spot to have sex?
a: A bed is fine...

q: What is your favor​ite thing​ about​ sex?
a: Sex has always fascinated me...I can't pick one thing that I favor...maybe the intimacy that can be shared between two people thanks to this amazing act.

q: What is your favor​ite sexua​l setti​ng?​
a: Hmm...

q: Would​ you ever work out nude?​
a: Maybe.

q: Would​ you have sex on the bench​ press​?​
a: A personal one; not a public one...ew, germs + staph = not cool.

q: Would​ you ever fool aroun​d in a movie​ theat​er?​
a: Yeah.

q: Would​ you ever make a porno​ with your significant other?​
a: Been there, burned that.

q: Would​ you ever do a photo​ shoot​ in sexy cloth​es for your significant other?​
a: Been there, deleted that.
​
q: Do you think​ you need sex more or less often​ than the avera​ge perso​n?​
a: More...if you only knew.

q: Who was on your mind while​ you did this surve​y?​
a: ...dammit.

q: What's a maverick?

a: My first thought after hearing the word maverick *wink* is someone who goes against the grain; not afraid to ruffle feathers.

A friend responded that he thought a maverick was someone who "flew under the radar, a 'lone ranger'."

American Heritage Dictionary defines maverick as:

n.

1. An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it.
2. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.

adj. Being independent in thought and action or exhibiting such independence: maverick politicians; a maverick decision.


[Possibly after Samuel Augustus Maverick (1803-1870), American cattleman who left the calves in his herd unbranded .]

...I guess we're both right.

However, the word also makes me think of Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone"...I have no earthly idea why. *wink*

q: What happens to recycled ink cartridges?

a: First of all, not all ink cartridges can be recycled, some of which can be classified as "hazardous waste". Strange, but true.

(http://www.ciwmb.ca.gov/WPIE/Electronics/InkAndToner.htm)

So what happens to the ones that can be recycled? Many charities refill and resell them in order to raise money.

(http://www.recyclenow.com/what_can_i_do_today/can_it_be_recycled/other_items/printer.html)

q: If you were a dinosaur, what would you be?

a: This brings back childhood memories of The Land Before Time. I think I'd be the little one who never shut the fuck up. I kinda wish I were more like Cera, the bitchy triceratops, but I think my sisters are more like her.

q: Love? The fuck is that?

a: Love is life. It's also the biggest paradox ever. It can be the most nourishing thing or the source of deprivation. One thing is definite: Love is powerful, no matter if it's got a negative or positive effect. Do I believe in love? Yes. For myself? That I'm not so sure of.

I don't believe there's a "one and only" soul mate type of thing. I believe that there are several people we can potentially connect with deeply. It's very limited to think of a "one and only", I think if you put yourself out there with an open mind and heart, the possibilities are endless. As for soul mates, I think there are different kinds; not just the romantic kind. I think we're all fortunate to have experienced one in our lives, even if it's just platonic.

Altruistic love to me, is pure love. Unlike romantic love, which can be draining, fleeting and expected to be returned, altruism expects nothing in return.

Speaking of "love", I fucking hate the Keyshia Cole song with the same title. It's whiny and HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!!! Dump him and get over it!

If love came as an energy drink in a can, I'd hand it out to all 6 billion of the world's population.

Pessimistic Asian Girl: ...but it doesn't pay the bills.
Optimistic Asian Girl: No, it does not, but it sure makes everything else better.

q: I still miss my ex...

...we were together for three years and I can't shake the thought of him away. When will I get over him?

a: It will be hard, it will be painful, and it will definitely be frustrating. The length of time will vary for everyone but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It's hard...that is one thing I can guarantee. It took me a good three years to recover from the carnage of my last relationship and to this day a part of me still isn't fully healed. I spent a lot of that time blaming myself: I wasn't pretty/thin/rich enough to keep him. What I didn't see was that the relationship was doomed to begin with. I ignored several red flags yet jumped in anyway. It's not always about you. (This can be a hard fact to accept, I'm still trying to accept this after my weekend snafu.) That's the first step toward forgiving yourself.

I read an interesting quote recently: "In order to get over one, fuck many." I'm not sure if this works for everyone, I do know it didn't for me. I guess it might be effective as a temporary distraction but I can't see it healing the pain from the last relationship.

A great way to help alleviate the pain is to live your life for yourself. Do all the things you couldn't do while in the previous relationship. (You know, like get some awesome head from that hottie you've been surreptitiously checking out during your lunch break...just kidding!...or maybe not...) He hated sushi but you love it? Call a friend up and go to that new sushi place you've been dying to try! Your ex bitched about you going out with the girls? Call them up and shake that ass!

(...but watch yourself! ...okay, I'm a huge idiot. Feel free to slap me.)

I know it's a terrible cliche, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I usually don't advocate games, but here's one that worked for me. After spending the summer on-and-off fucking my ex, I wanted to see if he really wanted to be "friends". When fall semester rolled in and I moved back on campus, I quit calling him. There were many times I wanted to (alcohol is evil, I'm tellin' ya!) but I kept my composure. Sure enough, he didn't call. And if a guy quits trying to contact you, it's an obvious answer.

Another thing is, when you succeed, don't rub it all over the ex's face. It's tempting but take the high ground. When I went to Amsterdam for Queen's Day 2007, I wanted so badly to call my ex and brag that I had accomplished what he had wanted so badly. He was still in Florida, engaged with a baby on the way and I was partying my ass off in Europe. However, a good friend stopped me and informed me that such a thing would only remind him that I was still thinking of him. And who needs that?

Finally, don't try to get over a relationship by quickly diving into a new one. It's not fair to the next person because the wounds are still fresh. They want to make a connection, not to act as a wet nurse. You'll still be facing your demons except now someone else is stuck in your mess.

Bottom line is, accept the pain, do your thang, don't hurt others and in the end, everything will be okay. No, it won't be the same but you'll be better off thanks to the experience. I promise.

Thinking about settling? Don't.

I refuse to settle for less than what I think I am worth. That may be a huge contributing factor to why I've been single for so long.

The last 4 years have been a mix of emotions. It's been frustrating and irritating, but also full of random blessings...for example, had I not been single, I probably would've never studied abroad in England. Had I not broken up with my last ex, there are several close friends of mine who I would've not gotten to know and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. I never have to answer to anyone about what I'm doing or where I'm going.

I do miss the intimacy and physical aspects. I miss being taken out to dinner and a movie. However, I haven't been celibate the last 4 years. As for dinners and movies, I've had a blast with the random friends I have gone out with for those outings.

Don't settle. I feel that things will be taken care of in the long run even when there's no end in sight.

My two main sex issues...

- Have fun with sex. I think us as humans have few pleasures better than sex, so enjoy it! If it seems like a chore, then step away.

- BE SAFER! Use condoms, get tested, don't give head when you've got mouth sores.

q: Why have you been single for (almost) 4 years?

a: Not gonna lie, my last relationship ran my ass over. My heart was smashed on the pavement for all to see. I've had ample opportunity, but it's rare that I meet someone who intrigues me enough to get serious again.

Directly after the relationship, I just wanted to get off and get out. This was a great arrangement but only if I disliked or had less respect for the other person. The ones I actually liked...it hasn't been pretty. My personal motto is, if anyone's going to drive me crazy, it's going to be me!

q: All my friends are getting married/having babies...help!

a: If you're not ready, don't do it! Being a small town girl, I can totally relate.

I think women focus on the wrong things when it comes to marriage, as if the wedding is the end-all, be-all. Hell no! The agony and ecstasy begins now. I say, focus on the relationship; the marriage itself. The wedding is only for a day...make the marriage last longer than it takes to pay off the wedding bills.

As for kids...do you really know how much it costs? My nail polish fund becomes diaper money? FUCK NO! Not just the monetary cost, but the physical, emotional and mental costs are dramatically high. If you've still got some wild oats to sow, I strongly recommend NOT having kids.

q: Who's going to win the national championship?

a: The winner of the 'Bama vs. LSU. The opponent will be some Big 12 team.

Study abroad tips...

Here are a few tips for those considering studying abroad.

- Don't take it so seriously...you only have limited time to cut up, so drinking 5 times a week is perfectly okay.

- Try to tolerate other customs. "When in Rome"...don't be the asshole American stereotype.

- Find a place that will show the whole Super Bowl, not just the first half.

- When faced with drama while abroad, remember: you'll be home much sooner than you think.

The white guy paradox...

q: Why do Asian girls go for white boys?

a: We all have our types. Let's check it: Kim Kardashian likes black dudes, Robert DeNiro likes black chicks, Wesley Snipes likes Asians, etc. I however, happen to like white guys.

I don't think a preference is a problem as long as you keep your options open. If you're dating only exclusively to type, you're definitely missing out. Thinking outside the box isn't always a bad thing. I definitely know some notorious "Roy G. Biv"s out there...they got it made.

q: I'm short, he's tall...

Do you have any sex position suggestions?

a: No matter your size (within reason), where there is a will, there's a way to some hot sex.

One word: props.
It's amazing what a well-placed pillow or a step stool can lead to. It's all about body placement and alignment. Besides, I'd rather be vertically challenged than horizontally challenged.

q: I'm heartbroken...

will i ever find love again?

a: Absofuckinglutely!
You might fall in love again tomorrow...or maybe not for another four years. The bottom line is, you've got to be happy with yourself first. Easier said than done, of course. But I'll believe for you.

Questions i will not answer...

q: Will you date me?
a: Do you really want to know?

q: Do Asians have sideways facing vaginas?
a: Last time I checked, my vagina seemed normal...even though I haven't personally seen any other vaginas, I will go ahead and say no.